[NSFW] STUPID MONSTER SEXPOCALYPSES

[cawnviction]

HERE IS CROW, WHO YOU APPARENTLY WANT TO BANG FOR SOME REASON. WITH ALL YOUR ADDITIONAL APPENDAGES/POWERS, HOW WRONG CAN IT GO?

Also general gore warning on top of the NSFW warning because this is all about Bad Monster Ideas.

If you want to play it out monster sex going wrong, but not in a public manner, please post a blank comment and I'll screen it, which will cause the rest of the thread to be screened.


Things that have Gone Wrong (including threads in other peoples' museboxes):
- Crow getting his dick stuck in holes that are too small and rigid
- Crow literally breaking someone's ass
- Condoms and the equivalent of blood getting stuck inside Crow's genital slit
- Crow getting his mouth burned and ice cream stuck in the lower jaw of his whale mask
- Crow getting his tail burned
- Crow getting his dick ripped off (blowjobs going wrong in the worst way) before getting killed
- Crow killing someone via blowjob
- Crow getting a too hot dick up his ass

Comments

gestures vaguely THERE WAS AN ATTEMPT

[engage_the_enemy]

[If you told Shulk he'd be trying to kiss a whale man, he wouldn't have believed you.

Of course, now that he's here, he has no idea what to do. It's as if the fog god did everything in her power to make this as inconvenient and awkward as possible right from the start. He's sorry about your everything, Crow.

He's got the mer's head in his hands, and...how. How does anyone get around this mask. The harpy's just gonna angle the mer's head this way and that while he tries to figure it out. Surely Crow's neck appreciates the gesture.]

Is there a trick to this? Should I...do something else?

[intercalaryninja]

[Holy shit he's fucking legal now.

And holy shit, he kind of wants to bang Crow of all people. The alternate dimension counterpart of the guy whose best friend is an insult to his clan and yet somehow respectable. Tsukikage wonders how his life choices has amounted to this before he decides that it's probably best not to think about this in too much detail.

Eight eyes stare at Crow, blinking out of time to one another, as the arachne crosses his four arms, trying to figure out how on earth he should... start.]

. . .

I suppose the first thing I should formally ask is whether you prefer to top or not.

[... Way to set the mood, you monotone, apocalypse of limbs.]

Feel free to change style if necessary

[chosennobody]

Sex. That sure was a seemingly innocent word that Roxas wanted to explore. After several conversations, the harpy had made his way to the library to read on the subject of sex and sexuality, but reading was very... safe. He wanted to try what he'd read about. He had also read that it should be with someone you trust. So, here he was, at Crow's, debating how to word this question.

"I wanted to ask you something," he ventured, eyes anywhere but on the mer. Why was this so difficult? And why had he never heard anything about sex before coming here to Ryslig? The books made it seem so normal...

"I want to have sex," he finally blurted out, forcing himself to look his friend in the eyes. Every action with conviction, after all.