cawnviction: (don't blow your load all at once)
Crow Hogan [5D's] ([personal profile] cawnviction) wrote2016-02-06 12:50 pm

[NSFW] STUPID MONSTER SEXPOCALYPSES

HERE IS CROW, WHO YOU APPARENTLY WANT TO BANG FOR SOME REASON. WITH ALL YOUR ADDITIONAL APPENDAGES/POWERS, HOW WRONG CAN IT GO?

Also general gore warning on top of the NSFW warning because this is all about Bad Monster Ideas.

If you want to play it out monster sex going wrong, but not in a public manner, please post a blank comment and I'll screen it, which will cause the rest of the thread to be screened.


Things that have Gone Wrong (including threads in other peoples' museboxes):
- Crow getting his dick stuck in holes that are too small and rigid
- Crow literally breaking someone's ass
- Condoms and the equivalent of blood getting stuck inside Crow's genital slit
- Crow getting his mouth burned and ice cream stuck in the lower jaw of his whale mask
- Crow getting his tail burned
- Crow getting his dick ripped off (blowjobs going wrong in the worst way) before getting killed
- Crow killing someone via blowjob
- Crow getting a too hot dick up his ass
intercalaryninja: (CONCERNED)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-08 08:05 am (UTC)(link)
[Tsukikage breathes deeply, the bulbs bulging even more that they were before from the sensation. It's as close as Tsukikage can get to erect in this form, but it feels really good.]

Do you think you can take me? Physically?

[Tsukikage asks tamely as he pulls off the pants, one pair of arms neatly folding it before he puts it aside because he's pedantic like that.]
intercalaryninja: (hm?)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-08 08:32 am (UTC)(link)
[As long as it's not the hands that's making sure their clothes aren't crumpled for the next day, Tsukikage doesn't mind him being grabbed. That is until he suddenly feels where exactly Crow has guided him. He looks at the merman and pauses, before smirking slightly. ]

I was. But I'm sure it's up to Standard.

[Or synchro. Whatever joke is there. Tsukikage slips his fingers in, rubbing the dormant cock with the flat of his nails, the long, strong digits slowly pumping the man.]
intercalaryninja: (whatofit?)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-08 09:14 am (UTC)(link)
[Tsukikage just gives him a smug look back as he continues playing at the cock, slicking it down with his hands as it comes out. It's... an interesting shape. Very interesting.]

I wasn't sure of your size.

[But he gestures to his backmost legs where he has small leather pouches, used to store all his things. Tsukikage had gone shopping and just had gotten one of each size. There's probably some monster condoms for your magnum dong or something Crow.]
intercalaryninja: (Default)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-08 09:36 am (UTC)(link)
[Tsukikage is fine with that. He balances on seven legs, drags the eight forward and picks one out with his arms with minimal searching, though he does slow down his touches as he digs through the pouches. Then he switches legs, trying to find the lube in the other pouch. His hands present the two items.]

I made sure I was prepared.

[He even did research for safety, just to make sure. It's all still new to him, but it helped him with his nerves at the time.]
intercalaryninja: (whatofit?)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-08 10:14 am (UTC)(link)
[Tsukikage is going to show how having a spine for your torso, and a chitin exoskeleton combines together to defy physics. Tsukikage climbs onto the bed and then he stretches forward, making his spine line up with his abdomen. He uses his legs to push himself onto his back, revealing the gross and unappealing segmented underside of a spider. On the second segment of the opisthosoma was a small opening, the one that the pedipalps were looking for earlier.]

... This... isn't uncomfortable, but I feel very... far.

[Considering how long his body is stretched out, anyway.]
intercalaryninja: (thinking)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-08 10:50 am (UTC)(link)
[. . . Tsukikage is thankful for the mask. He feels embarrassed, lying out like this and looking at Crow awkwardly try to make sense of all of... well... him. He's more than ready to give him a moment and he slides down, easily able to hang off the bed, making it look significantly less weird.

His legs twist at an awkward angle and he tries to steady himself. They're able to support, sure, but whether its nerves or just the fact he hasn't tried to support himself like this makes him quiver a little.]


Better?
intercalaryninja: (nghk...)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-08 11:14 am (UTC)(link)
[He does like the extra support. It's nice, and comforting in a way. He feels a bit more certain that he can do this...

...And considering he lacks any flesh below the hips, yes, yes it does look like it's very sturdy.]


I will...

[Mmm... well at least it feels good. He moans and blushes furiously, as if it was a sin to make such a noise.]
intercalaryninja: (nghk...)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-08 12:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[There's a limit to his self-control, and asking for this in the first place is already letting loose. The man closes his eyes, breathing quietly as he grips the bedspread, not realising what problem Crow was encountering. He just squirms, the last two joints in his legs curling up, and then relaxing as Crow cntinues.]

The insides were soft and squishy thankfully, and once you get through the hard ring, it's warm and pleasant. However, there's no give to the hard, spider hole.]
intercalaryninja: (oh...)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-08 01:41 pm (UTC)(link)
[Well he has more than enough hands plus a mouth. If they position themselves properly, they could probably work something out but- oh? He's going fuck it? Sure, that works too.

Once the fingers have been removed, Tsukikage takes the opportunity to relax, to take a deep breath in and then out. He looks over to the merman, more than a little intimidated at the prospect of having such a huge cock inside him. He's eager for it though. It's evident in at least a couple of his eyes, at the ones that aren't glancing to the window and contemplating jumping out of it.

Well he never seriously contemplates it, mostly because the cold, slick fingers are inside him again and he melts at the touch. He moans quietly, sounds muffled in his cowl.]


I'm ready... Go ahead...

[Yeah his hole is screwed and not in the good way.]
intercalaryninja: (CONCERNED)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-08 02:18 pm (UTC)(link)
[Penetration was great. Tsukikage's eyes kind of spaz out as he enjoys the nerves being pressed, sending something warm and comforting through his entire body. He moans, his hands dropping and gripping the blanket underneath him.

Of course, naturally, all goes wrong far too quickly. When the man tries to pull himself off, Tsukikage feels his hips lift off the bed. He tries to push himself back down, so Crow can part, but then suddenly he realises the same thing that Crow has.]


Hrkkk... A-ahhh... Oh dear...

[ABORT! ABORT! ABORT! Tsukikage tries to push his hips down again... still stuck. CRAP.]
intercalaryninja: (oh...)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-09 04:47 pm (UTC)(link)
[Tsukikage quickly snatches his composure and shoves it back in him before it can escape any further. He takes a deep breath and looks up at Crow.]

Ah... Yes... My apologies. I don't know what came over me.

[Well your lower half is at risk of being broken, so that's natural...]

... Well it could go in... so if we wait for you to... not be hard... you should be able to slip out.
intercalaryninja: (CONCERNED)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-11 04:51 am (UTC)(link)
[So bad, he's so sorry. He'll never ask anyone for sex ever again, oh god this was terrible.]

. . . Give me a moment...

[He stretches one of his legs and rolls it over, closer. Luckily, his arms are now longer, three-segmented limbs, and he's able to scoop it up relatively easily.]

Here.

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