cawnviction: (don't blow your load all at once)
Crow Hogan [5D's] ([personal profile] cawnviction) wrote2016-02-06 12:50 pm

[NSFW] STUPID MONSTER SEXPOCALYPSES

HERE IS CROW, WHO YOU APPARENTLY WANT TO BANG FOR SOME REASON. WITH ALL YOUR ADDITIONAL APPENDAGES/POWERS, HOW WRONG CAN IT GO?

Also general gore warning on top of the NSFW warning because this is all about Bad Monster Ideas.

If you want to play it out monster sex going wrong, but not in a public manner, please post a blank comment and I'll screen it, which will cause the rest of the thread to be screened.


Things that have Gone Wrong (including threads in other peoples' museboxes):
- Crow getting his dick stuck in holes that are too small and rigid
- Crow literally breaking someone's ass
- Condoms and the equivalent of blood getting stuck inside Crow's genital slit
- Crow getting his mouth burned and ice cream stuck in the lower jaw of his whale mask
- Crow getting his tail burned
- Crow getting his dick ripped off (blowjobs going wrong in the worst way) before getting killed
- Crow killing someone via blowjob
- Crow getting a too hot dick up his ass
intercalaryninja: (whatofit?)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-26 03:17 pm (UTC)(link)
Right... I'm going to start then.

[Tsukikage takes his hands off Crow's shoulders and he bends his legs carefully so he can slot between Crow's. The second mask comes off and Tsukikage sighs as he takes in fresh air, his spare arms folding his mask and storing it appropriately. The man pushes his face close and his warm breath curls across Crow's slit.

The long gap coming from his mouth to his chin opens outwards, and the two halves of his face split in half. If anyone was sane or could see, immediately they'd know not to let Tsukikage near anything sensitive. The man had teeth literally everywhere, from the roof of his mouth to the sides, to the bottom, and even his tongue looked like they had little needles on them.

Thankfully the 'needles' aren't sharp, but rather bendy and soft. Tsukikage's tongue flickers out and, careful not to chomp on Crow, begins to lick.]
intercalaryninja: (whatofit?)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-27 12:56 am (UTC)(link)
[Tsukikage is very careful with his movements, yet he does consider tying his cheeks behind his head, just to make sure nothing bad happens. However, it's uncomfortable, time-consuming and honestly Tsukikage isn't up for it.

So he leaves it as it is. When the man invites him in, Tsukikage is more than happy to lean in and get really up close. One pair of arms help hold the slit open, the others caress Crow's thighs.

The bristly tongue pushes in and begins swirling around, partially looking for the cock and partially just exploring. That should be at least marginally pleasurable.

Even if the mandibles that close in around Crow's hips lightly push pointed teeth down.]
intercalaryninja: (Default)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-27 02:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[Multiple limbs you know what you're doing with are excellent for absolutely everything. Tsukikage does enjoy the tiniest acceleration of breath and pulse as he works, and the calls are more than enough to satisfy him. Almost enough to make him ignore Crow. Almost.]

Ahh... Yes... I do.

[Safety first! One hand lets go of Crow's thigh and he goes to fish another condom out from the pouch attached to his leg. He would hold it up for Crow but he's blindfolded.]

Ready when you are
intercalaryninja: (whatofit?)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-28 09:22 am (UTC)(link)
I understand...

[Well... time to fish the dick out of the slit then. A long, spidery finger begins to gently rim the slit, while Tsukikage stared intensely at the moist hole, just waiting for it to come out while the other hands prepare to pull it on.]

Ready...
intercalaryninja: (thatniceexpressionpyralikes)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-28 09:58 am (UTC)(link)
[Tsukikage can't help but smirk at that, and he feels very proud of himself for doing a good job. A couple of his back legs patter back and forth excitedly, as his front half looks at the whale's penis. Tsukiakge isn't one to tease, so once it's out, he carefully slides it on Crow's dick, pulling it as far it would go.]

I'm starting

[It's only fair to warn. And while one hand caresses the cock and holds it in place, his mouth slides over it, as if Tsukikage was going straight for deep throating. His tongue meets the rubber and Tsukikage firmly licks.

Then... gently his cheeks come down... and down... and now they're sort of pushing against Crow's crotch and his dick. One of his many teeth on his upper lip may be gently pressing on the slit as well.]
intercalaryninja: (hm?)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-28 11:46 am (UTC)(link)
[He's far more light-footed than any roach, thank you very much. He's just bigger.

Tsukikage flinches and his teeth push a little further when he feels the hand grab his ponytail. However, it's not enough for Tsukikage to bite down in surprise- he has more control than that, thanks- and after a moment of recovery, he loosen his mouth's hold and begins bobbing his head up and down, two pairs of eyes on Crow while the other two pairs stared down at his dick.]
intercalaryninja: (CONCERNED)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-02-29 01:52 am (UTC)(link)
Grrk!

[Yeesh, Crow, you don't slow down. He bites a bit harder, but it's not enough to penetrate the rubber. Tsukikage's got to lose control too to do something as stupid and foolhardy as that, so it's not going to happen, right? Hahaha.

Tsukikage moves faster, saliva pooling around the dick as his tongue stops moving in favour of just moving. The little teeth grate against Crow's dick like a brush, teasing the shaft and the slit opening not unlike Tsukikage's nails before.]
intercalaryninja: (grrr)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-03-01 01:05 pm (UTC)(link)
[It's fine. It's fine. It's fine but he's getting really uncomfortable now. It doesn't hurt, but there's a dark part of him (a vengeful shade? A frazzled spider?) who isn't really happy of how this as turned out. Tsukikage tries to ignore it, but as he bobs his head, he feels that pinch in his soul again.

...

He bites harder, and this time his teeth does sink through the condom.]
intercalaryninja: (RAWG!)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-03-01 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
[Thanks Crow. Another thing to curse awful looks about. Tsukikage is doing his best, really, but the rough facefuck and the lack of control over a situation really gets to him and before he realises what's going on, the usually calm ninja snaps.

The long mouth unfurls from Crow's penis, only to SNAP back on like a mouse trap. The spider bites hard and twists his head, ripping the member off.]
intercalaryninja: (RAWG!)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-03-02 12:10 pm (UTC)(link)
Crow...

[Tsukikage wants to apologise. He wants to stop, pick Crow up and get him to a hospital, but every rational(?) thought he has quickly flies out the window the minute his hand moves. As soon as he sees Crow going for the scarf around his eye, his long arm flies, shoving the man's face away to stop him from seeing his. It's too late though, Crow has already seen the crime scene and his face, and the ninja panics.

The penis in his mouth is chewed and swallowed, and it slides down so easily that it gives his monstrous side a good idea. Crow is hurt... and he's seen his face. He has to make him forget.

Tsukikage grabs Crow's legs with three of his arms and yanks him back, nails now carelessly digging into him. As soon as he can get access to a leg, his mouth opens again, revealing that horrifying, gaping chasm. He chomps down around Crow's thigh, looking like he was trying to stop the bleeding, but instead ripping another chunk of flesh out.]
intercalaryninja: (grrr)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-03-02 02:52 pm (UTC)(link)
[The meat goes down just as easily as Crow's did, and the creature in front of Crow just barely remembers to chew before swallowing. Tsukikage does his best to hold Crow down, keep him from thrashing, but Crow is able to get his leg free and kick him in the jaw. Tsukikage's head rolls backwards and he screeches in pain, but his arms grab Crow's leg before he can pull it back.

There's a disgusting crack and Tsukikage's head yanks back forward like a rubber band, eyes completely blue as he stares up at the merman. With another hideous screech, it forces its head down, taking a bite out of Crow's other leg.

This isn't how it usually hunts, but Crow is immobilized all the same. If only he'd stop fighting.]
intercalaryninja: (RAWG!)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-03-03 05:12 pm (UTC)(link)
[Unfortunately for Crow, Tsukikage is immune to poison, and while the fins do hurt regardless of where they hit, it's hardly enough to stop the arachne from tearing into Crow, eating him like he was a crazed beast rather than the slow, delicate way a spider would usually feast on its prey. Tsukikage was mad... vengeful even, and Crow's words fall on deaf ears. He just keeps ripping at the flesh, gulping it in thick, meaty chunks.]

GGGHRRRRRHHHHHEEEEEEEEEKKKKKK

[Tsukikage only growls loudly and his lower arms try pull Crow's legs straight off his body so he can eat those. He just wants to kill him now. Kill him and make him forget. He had to. He HAD TO.

He bites Crow's pelvis again and yanks hard, hoping for some more to eat.]
intercalaryninja: (RAWG!)

[personal profile] intercalaryninja 2016-03-05 12:30 am (UTC)(link)
[Crow's head is right in front of him, and Tsukikage's eyes light up upon seeing Crow in such a vulnerable position. With no trace of the ninja that had been there before, Tsukikage's mouth unfurls fully and he gives a menacing screech. He enjoyed the struggle, but now it was the time to feast.

Then he clamps his mouth down on Crow, cheeks distended even further than before, and he bites the man's head off.

Rest in pieces in his stomach Crow. Tsukikage isn't going to realise what he's done until he's polished your body off into a slurry of proteins and carbohydrates]